The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
