On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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