He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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