Will you blow on my dice?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
