Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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