I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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