Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
