So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
