have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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