I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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