new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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