So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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