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sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
there is glitter all over my balls
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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