she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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