This show inspires me to have sex in space
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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