She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
