I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize