Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
