when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
