There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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