You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
