Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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