And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's just like the Real World with babies
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
