You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
