can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
