You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
