Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
