I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I would fuck him just for his dog
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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