in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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