Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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