i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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