You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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