Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
