Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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