so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize