Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize