Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
