Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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