How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
