Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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