I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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