just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
