My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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