I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They are going to name an STD after you.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
