I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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