margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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