woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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