I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
