Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
