Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?