Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its about making memories worth repressing
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
