Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize