I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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