Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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