drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
