Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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