I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
