"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
