I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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