haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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