That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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