She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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