All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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