During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
