I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
